


communication is important (in whatever form it may take)

by WattStalf



Series: Femslash February 2017 [13]
Category: Baccano!
Genre: F/F, Femslash February, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-20 07:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9481664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: Do you want to get closer?





	

**Author's Note:**

> idk i probably fucked this up

Rachel still doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into, even though she’s been “into” this for quite some time. She didn’t accept the proposal from Felix immediately, or even after giving it some thought. In fact, she wanted nothing to do with the idea of marrying him, especially considering he was already engaged to someone else.

At first, he saw that as as much of a problem as she did, and felt conflicted about his feelings for the both of them, but then, out of the blue, he decided it didn’t matter. The way he put it was, if he wanted to be married twice over, and if both women were agreeable, then who could tell him that he couldn’t? He said he only hoped that they could learn to love each other as well, and didn’t seem to see any issues regarding that.

Which is not a bad thing; Rachel has never exactly been open about the fact that she’s not exclusively attracted to men, and it is nice to know, at the very least, that Felix doesn’t think anything of it. But that does not make her any more eager to enter into this engagement in the beginning, and she thinks he should count himself lucky that she manages to be his friend even while rejecting him.

And it is during their friendship that she starts to give in to his advances, and eventually,  _ somehow _ , she agrees to give this unusual arrangement a chance. But it is not just because the two of them grow closer; it is because she meets Chane and gets to know her, and builds a friendship with her that she knows she could see turning into something more some day, if she were lucky enough. She doesn’t tell Felix about this, but he catches on fairly quickly, if the way he tries to leave them alone together is any indication.

Chane is difficult for Rachel to read, and even though Felix has expressed hope that they would fall for one another, she’s never actually heard him outright ask Chane about her feelings, and she doesn’t know what Chane’s thoughts are, regarding her. She knows, at least, that Chane is fine with this arrangement and fine with Felix having feelings for both of them, but beyond that, her feelings are a mystery.

Rachel thinks that she’s beautiful and strong and fascinating, and it’s not hard to see why anyone would want to marry her. She develops quite the crush on the woman over time, but she can’t help but notice how hard it is to read her and figure out how she’s feeling about things. He can read her no problem, able to respond to her without needing words to understand what she’s thinking, but Rachel still hasn’t caught onto that, and she feels a bit guilty for it. Does she really even belong here like this?

So, Rachel still has no idea what she’s gotten herself into, or if she really fits into it, or if maybe it was all just a big mistake on her part. She doesn’t want to give up on things, but she doesn’t know if Chane will ever accept her as anything more than the other woman Felix proposed to.

They mostly communicate by Chane writing responses to whatever Rachel says to her and she’s lucky that she’s always kept a pen and paper stashed in her pockets, even before getting close to the two of them. Even if they’re out somewhere, or even if they’re just in a room without any paper and neither feel like going to get some, she almost always has it on her person. Still, she cannot tell if Chane is grateful or indifferent.

She doesn’t know anything about what the other woman is thinking, and she supposes the only way to learn anything is to ask. If only she could be more like Felix- something she  _ never _ expected to catch herself thinking- and need only her eyes to know what she’s thinking. But she  _ isn’t _ , and wishing isn’t going to solve the problem, so she goes for the more direct approach.

“What do you think of me?” she asks.

_ What do you mean? _ As Chane scrawls the question, her face gives none of her supposed confusion away.

“In general, I guess. I don’t know, we don’t really talk about...us much, and I don’t know what you...how you feel about any of this?”

_ I like you. _

It’s such a simple response, and it tells Rachel nothing, yet she feels her pulse quicken all the same. “Thanks, I...like you too.”

_ I’m not used to a lot of things. I never even considered picturing myself in a romantic relationship, and so I can’t say I ever pictured it being like this. I don’t have any experience, so I have a hard time expressing my feelings. _

This is, more than likely, the longest response Chane has ever written out for her, and when she meets her eye, Rachel can actually tell that the other woman appears a little troubled. It’s a small step, but she commits that expression to memory, glad that she has at least one she can recognize.

“I’m about as in the dark as you are,” she confesses. “But I’m glad that you gave me a chance, even if it must be a little weird to...you know…”

_ He says that he wants us to get closer. Do you want to get closer? _

The question is awfully blunt, and Rachel feels herself flushing. “I’ve thought about it,” she says vaguely, then shakes her head. If there’s one thing that she’s starting to pick up on, it’s that being blunt is one of the more effective ways for her to communicate. “I do want to get closer. Not just because he wants us to, but because...well, just because I want to.”

There is a pause, and they make eye contact again, and Rachel searches for some hint of something. A variety of emotions cloud Chane’s eyes, and she can’t possibly hope to latch onto any of them, but she thinks she catches a few glimpses of something- something positive, something to give her hope.

But nothing is written out for her, and she can’t gather enough from Chane’s eyes to invent a response, not in the way Felix might have. Rachel knows that she can’t be like him, but maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world; maybe it’s better for her to do things her way, and ask Chane outright, communicating in the way that suits them both best.

“Do you want to get closer?” she asks, and there is a brief moment of hesitation before Chane writes only two words.

_ I do. _

There is nothing in her face to suggest that she’s being insincere, though Rachel is still no expert. But she prefers to believe what Chane says, and to believe that the two of them can communicate through bluntness and figure their way through this. If one has to spell things out for the other- and sometimes, that’s literal- then that’s fine, just as long as whatever they’re trying to say is said.

Today has been a rather small step, but it’s progress, and it’s progress that Rachel is happy to have made.


End file.
